1. CLEAR LIMITS SET. What is safe and acceptable and what is not? What are the consequences?
2. DISCIPLINE that is consistent, fair, and carries over into every area of their lives.
3. OPPORTUNITIES TO HONESTLY EXPRESS their feelings or thoughts.
4. PERMISSION TO FAIL AND RETURN, not necessarily to accept behavior but to accept the kid, with tolerance for mistakes.
5. OPPORTUNITIES TO LAUGH AND BE HAPPY.
6. OPPORTUNITIES TO BE SUCCESSFUL in school, at home, in the community, with peers.
7. STRUCTURED FAMILY ACTIVITIES – church, holidays, meals, movies, etc.
8. CONSISTENCY with friends, parents, school policy, and rules and regulations in general.
9. ENCOURAGEMENT TO TAKE RISKS.
10. ACCURATE INFORMATION about drugs and alcohol, crime, sexuality and other areas which might promote fear and uncertainty.
11. COMMUNICATION WITH ADULTS/PARENTS.
12. SUPPORT FROM IMPORTANT ADULTS in their lives.
13. TO BE TRUSTED by important adults.
14. GENUINE COMMITMENT from teachers, counselors, ministers, mullahs, priests, rabbis,…
15. POSITIVE PEER INFLUENCE – a helping friend.
16. TO BE ENCOURAGED TO BE RESPONSIBLE.
17. TO BE RESPECTED.
18. TO BE TOUCHED – It is incredible that we need a bumper sticker to remind us to give our kids a hug.
19. TO BE LOVED – genuine and real.